Donnerstag, 8. Dezember 2011

tadaima...about the feeling of coming home

...hey guys, maybe you maybe have been wondering why I didn't write a new post in the last time.

Well, there are several reasons for that: In the last time I didn't experience something of which I could have thought as so important that I MUST write down immediately to tell you guys, I had a really tough time with learning ( I took part in the Japanese language proficiency test - N4, which was difficult as hell - I knew from the start, that my chances to pass are fifty fifty; but I'd feel bad not to pass...the test had tree parts: Words(reading kanjis, the right use of the vocabulary etc. ), grammar and listening. The listening was no problem, grammar was difficult, but the point where i'm worried about is vocabulary - It was so difficult, and I didn't have the time to finish...Well, let's hope for the better half!^^

And there are a few other reasons why I didn't write

First: Maybe you have noticed it, maybe not (I definitely have), but my english got worse.=.='' The reason is, that I rarely use it, since most Japanese people are at the level of an European who has been studying English for 1 year after studying japanese for like 6 or 9 years!-.-'' And English is not the only one: I think after this year i'll have to brush up my French completely, my Latin was never good (maybe I won't study it any further, I'll see when I come back), and I even sometimes have difficulties with speaking German, my MOTHER LANGUAGE!

And: At the beginning, I always had the feeling of discovering a completely new word, and although I luckily had no feeling of homesickness (may it stay as like this!!!!), I sometimes really missed my friends, because there is always something I 'd like to tell them immediately. I wanted to tell the word what happend to me every minute. But slowly, I don't just feel like coming home, but also really like home here. Slowly but sure i make progress in Language, and in school, everything gets slowly normal. A month ago, when there were students on the floor, they squeaked with excitement "kawaiiiiii"!!! Now, they smile at me and say: AKUMA-CHAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!^0^ I like this ways better. And even if I don't have really close japanese friends till now, I have a lot of people that like me and that i like, I finally have the first mail address from a guy and mailed with him (Shou-kun, the guy I'd like to become friends and always starred at me like a devil00'' In truth, he was just shy, I think!:D), and the guys seem to warm up a bit. I slowly start to feel like home now, even if I'm still as foreign as one can be, and even if there are many things I don't understand and even if there are bad days.
Well, I also start to see the negative sides of leading a life here, and sometimes there are days I'm really pissed off because of culture differences. But if you live in Japan for a while, you will not only learn about a foreign country, but also about you. You will learn to see things from another side, since you always have to think from two points of view, if you don't wan't to drop a brick. This is sometimes terribly exhausting, but you will also learn to exercise patience, with others as well as with yourself(This for example is something I simply couldn't do earlier, but slowly start to master!:)).
However, I also have the feeling that I'd like to change host family. Not, that they aren't nice or so, I'd just like to see how other families live, since mine one maybe isn't THAT Japanese (since the mother is korean, they have a lot of Korean influence, and the culture THER is again completely different...) We will see next year...

That's it for now!
I know it's a short post after so long, but i'll post more soon!;)
Have a good time,